Goodbye My Almost Lover
by Hello. I'm In Delaware
Summary: He always said he couldn't live without her... The truth always hurts.// Shalex oneshot. rated k for slight depression.


The colour flooded from Alex's already pale face. There were voices but she was dizzy, so dizzy. The world was spinning out of control. Lights flashed, the sky was dark and the stars shone brightly. Suddenly she heard Shane's voice, shouting her name, "she's my girlfriend," he cried out frantically. "S-Shane," she whispered. Her voice grew stronger as her longing to see him grew stronger, "SHANE," she shouted. Someone rushed to her side, he was a guy. "What is it?" he asked her gently. She didn't know this guy and she really didn't care, "Shane," she whispered. "Shane?" he repeated slightly louder.

"That's me!" Shane yelled and then he was by her side, staring down into her brown eyes. He always told her that she was beautiful. .. and she always agreed. She was Alex Russo after all. News reporters…reported all around her and cameras clicked hoping to get a glimpse of the slowly dying girl for the newspapers.

Alex could feel Shane's salty tears drip on her cheek and he hastily wiped it with his thumb causing her to wince in pain. She was hurting all over. The blow from the car took its toll on her tiny frame. "Oh Alex," he whispered in horror. More tears spilled, it broke Alex's heart to see him torn up.

"Hey... hey," she said in a soft voice trying to lift her hand to touch his cheek, but it was pointless, she was too weak so Shane rested her head on his lap and took her hands in his. "I'm going to be ok," she whispered.

Shane shook his head refusing to believe that his angel was going to heaven, "What about me Alex… how will I live without you?"

Alex smiled weakly up at him, her weakened, cold fingers entwined with his, if she could she would hold onto him forever. But life goes on… at least for him it does. "You'll be fine Shane. You've got your band, your family, and your fans. And I'm going to be right there. Watching over you, loving you. I promise you that."

Shane bit hard on his lip, "I can't do this..." he whispered pressing his hand to his eyes, squeezing them shut and wishing with every inch of him that it was a nightmare. A horrible nightmare.

"I love you Shane," she said weakly.

"No Alex… don't go! Please… please don't leave me here," he cried. But she was gone. Fragile as a butterfly in a harsh world. Tears streamed from Shane's eyes cascading onto the wet ground. A small pool of blood had formed under Alex. She had been under so much pain but she stayed strong. She would always be his fighter. Slowly and gently, Shane pressed his lips against Alex's pale, cold ones. Then he held onto her, with all his might. He grew angry, depressed, heartbroken. All the things Alex wouldn't want him to be. "Please, come back to me," he whispered into her unhearing ears. "I need you Al… I _need_ you."

The funeral passed in a blur. Shane was rude, he didn't speak to anyone and if they did he would just walk away. Nate and Jason saw less and less of him and their summer tour had been cancelled until further notice. Shane never saw the Russo's (who he considered his second family) since the funeral. He'd gotten calls from them but he just pressed busy and went back to his mourning. He was closed off from the world and often was haunted by images of Alex. He'd see her one minute and he'd be happy beyond words, forgetting for one moment he'd lost her in that fatal car accident, but then she'd disappear and he'd break down. Time passed and still, he closed himself up from the world. Not forgiving himself and wishing he'd been there to get her out of harms way. Every night he dreamt of her. He closed his eyes and he saw her face, reliving their memories, but soon the happy dream became a nightmare, and Alex would disappear leaving Shane to crack up. Sometimes he'd stare out the window, asking Alex why she left him. Sometimes he got angry, sometimes sad. And never happy. He took up drinking and it did take away the pain. But not long after he got a hangover which made the visions of Alex even worse. She would come so close he could reach out and touch her, but everytime he did she faded. The pain became unbearable and he began to cut his wrists. Shane was so depressed and he knew it's not what Alex wanted. But he didn't care. He just wished he was dead.

"Shane? Shane?" Alex's voice was hazy at first, but as he opened his eyes. There she was clear as daylight and just as beautiful.

"Alex?!" she exclaimed running to her and lifting her up. He hugged her to him, he wouldn't let go. No not this time.

"Shane… this is a dream. I'm not alive," she sighed pressing her hand to his cheek. The torn up look on his face was hard to bear but she still kept her brave face on. "I've been seeing what you're doing to yourself Shane… it hurts. It really hurts," she whispered.

Shane frowned at her, his hand touched the one on his cheek. It was definitely there and it didn't feel like a dream at all. Alex nodded understanding the look, "Think of it as an… epiphany," she said with a gentle smile. Shane nodded.

"How can you see me?" he asked her dying to know more.

"I told you I'd watch over you," she said gazing at him with those eyes. The eyes he fell in love with.

"What is it like? Heaven I mean. Or is it heaven?" he asked he eager to know more. To stall, to be with her as long as he could. But she shook her head, "I can't tell you, I'm sorry. But I am with my grandma. I told her all about you and she wishes she could meet you. I told her someday she will, you'll love her. She's my spirit guide. Hopefully I'll be yours someday," she said kindly.

Shane shook his head, it was all too much.. seeing her there. So beautiful so _alive_. "Why can't I be with you now?" he whispered desperately. "Isn't there a way in with you?"

"No, Shane. You have your whole life left. You have Nate and Jason to look out for remember? They need you. And right now I need you to live, do it for me?" she smiled.

Shane nodded his head sadly. He understood, plus he would do anything for her.

"I have to go Shane," she said smiling but her eyes were filled with sadness. She ould give anything to be with him. But that was selfish, he was needed. He was _loved_.

"No… Alex please," he pleaded grabbing her hands. "Stay."

"I can't, please don't make leaving you again any harder." She whispered as tears rolled down her glowingly pale cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he sniffed as he looked down.

Alex gently lifted his chin up, "I want you to be happy. Let me go. You'll find someone new but I will always love you and I know you will love me too. Don't hold onto my memory forever… We'll meet again, I promise."

Shane nodded his head.

"Goodbye Shane."

With that, he pulled her into a hug, "I love you Alex."

"And I love you."

Shane fell off his couch, tears were dried on his cheek. But the whole world seemed to be lifted off his shoulders. He looked into his hand and found Alex's bracelet. The stringy one they made together. She loved it so much and wore it when she died. Now he knew it was real. All of it. He smiled and put it on his wrist and ran to call everyone he'd shut away for so long. He was going to make Alex proud, because he loved her… He would always love her.


End file.
